As a woman, there are times when we get forced to get along with people we wouldn’t usually like. In addition to coworkers, we find ourselves grinning and bearing teachers, neighbors, and even the grocery store clerk. That is especially true if your partner was previously married and there are children involved. Getting along with your partner’s ex-wife is crucial to make blended families work smoothly.
Please continue reading if your partner has an ex-wife and you need some tips to get along and keep the peace with her.
Going into a relationship with a previously married man doesn’t seem like a big deal, especially if he is a great guy who seems to have it together. However, there will be instances and situations where you will be together with your partner’s ex-wife, and keeping the peace is vital. Keeping the peace with a partner’s ex-wife can be challenging even for a woman desperately seeking peace, but it is the key to a happier life with your partner.
None of this is to say that you have to be best friends with your partner’s ex-wife. However, some ways to keep the peace with your partner’s ex-wife are outlined below:
Ask Her… What Are Your Expectations of Me?
Most mature adults crave peaceful relationships in their interactions with others. Unless there are children involved or your partner continues to have a relationship with his ex, you do not need to have a relationship with her. However, it is important to keep the peace when children are involved and you become a member of a blended family.
One way is to invite your partner’s ex-wife to lunch and ask her what she expects from you. Your ideas about raising children could be different from hers, making it necessary to know her expectations. Blended families work best when the children are being raised in similar households with similar rules. Knowing what your partner’s ex-wife expects from you is crucial to the happiness of everyone involved.
Do An Activity with the Children
If you aren’t into the straightforward approach of asking what is expected of you, then doing an activity with the children is a great way to break the ice. Doing an activity with the children is also an excellent way for you to get a glimpse into how your partner’s ex-wife interacts with her children and how they respond. It is engaging and will help avoid some of the awkwardness of a one-on-one conversation.
In addition to participating in a school-hosted activity together, this could be done in a beach setting, bowling, movie night, or any place where you are comfortable, and kids are welcome and will enjoy it.
Being patient is vital because forced peace isn’t easy. However, you will have to be patient with yourself and your partner’s ex-wife. Keeping the peace with a partner’s ex-wife is new territory and likely something that neither of you has been through.
Ask For Help
As with almost everything in life, it is okay to ask for help in keeping the peace with your partner’s ex-wife. That could be as simple as telling your partner, “I would like to learn how to get along with your ex wife.” You can also get help and guidance from a professional family counselor or therapist.
Take The High Road
Although you’ve tried to give your partner’s ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, it may just be that they are challenging to get along with. They may have issues beyond finding peace, and there is nothing that you can do about that. In that instance, the only thing you can do is take the high road. That includes doing your best to make your blended family work when you are together and leaving it there. Remain a gift to the children and your partner and understand that you cannot do any more to make peace with your partner’s ex-wife.
As you have read, a relationship with your partner’s ex-wife is vital. If there are children involved it is even more important to develop a relationship or at least some peace and harmony between you two. Although it won’t be easy, there are several ways that you can work to keep the peace with your partner’s ex-wife. Keeping the peace with her may be the key to a happy life with your partner.